


Beginnings

by youandmeotp



Category: CNCO (Band)
Genre: Feelings, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-06 23:45:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14658740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youandmeotp/pseuds/youandmeotp
Summary: Joel and Erick have a night to remember...or maybe one they'd rather forget. (Also posted on Wattpad!)





	Beginnings

It’s about three o’clock in the morning when Erick begins to realize something is happening.

All the guys are crowded into Erick’s hotel room, and the party is in full swing. The reggaeton beat practically vibrates through the walls and Richard has pulled everyone up to dance, even if they didn’t really want to. So now, hips are moving and sweat is dripping and everyone is smiling and laughing. About half an hour ago, Zabdiel made a comment about not wanting to disturb the other guests, but that has long faded from everyone’s minds. Now all they want is to have a good time—and anyway, they’re the only people staying on the top floor, so they can’t be that much of a nuisance. Probably.

There is a noticeable buzz in the air and the scent of alcohol intermittently drifts toward Erick. The older boys have been drinking, but Erick had decided not to. “Come on, Erick,” Chris had prodded him. “We’re in Bolivia, there’s not  _ technically  _ a legal drinking age here.” But Erick had resisted. It wasn’t the illegality that made him apprehensive about drinking. He just didn’t feel like messing with his body and mind like that, and he knew how to party just as well without it. 

Besides, it was endlessly hilarious to him to watch his friends make drunk fools of themselves. A few minutes ago, Christopher had tried to text someone from the TV remote, and it took him a solid thirty seconds to figure out why he couldn’t unlock it. Erick had nearly cried he was laughing so hard.

But between all the joking and the craziness, all night Erick has been watching Joel. He looks particularly handsome tonight, wearing a white t-shirt that shows off his muscles, and ripped jeans that hug him in all the right places. Plus, his hair is free from his signature bandana, and every once in a while a loose curl flops into his face. Erick wants to be the one to push it back.

The truth is, he’s had feelings for Joel for longer than he can remember. There’s just something about him that’s enchanting, and when Joel walks in the room, Erick can’t move his eyes away. But Joel has never, and could never, feel like that about him. So he’s begun to devote more time and energy toward getting over his friend. 

It’s not working very well.

The song changes and Joel’s eyes light up. “Oh my god, this is my favorite!” he says, jumping up and causing his curls to bounce around his face. He makes eye contact with Erick, exclaiming, “Dance with me!”

Joel grabs Erick’s hand before Erick can register what’s happening, and by the time he does, he realizes he just has to go with the flow, even though his heart has started beating double time. They’ve been dancing for ages now, this is nothing different. But Joel’s hands quickly slide down to Erick’s waist, and the flush that rushes through Erick’s cheeks tells him something else is happening, whatever “something” is.

They move to the beat together and the small smile across Joel’s face makes all of Erick’s distress worthwhile. “I didn’t know you liked this song so much,” Erick teases him. He hopes his voice sounds normal.

“Ha, ha,” Joel responds sarcastically. “Everybody knows I play it all the time.”

_ Yeah, every morning when you wake up,  _ Erick thinks to himself, then stops, surprised. He hadn’t realized he’d been paying such close attention to Joel recently. But of course he had.

“How did you know that?” Joel asks, wrinkling his brow.

Erick’s eyes widen.  _ Did I say that out loud?  _ Joel looks at him expectantly. “Uhm…” is all he can manage to come up with. 

But before he can find the words to cover up his near-admission of guilt, Joel has already moved on. Moved on to Erick’s hips, to be precise.

Joel’s fingers hook into the belt loops of Erick’s jeans and use them to tug him closer, causing Erick to gasp audibly. He glances at the other guys to see if they noticed, but they don’t show any sign. Erick thanks God for their impaired judgment, and especially for the loud music—he’s confident that if the room were any quieter, they’d be able to hear his heart threatening to burst out of his chest.

Zabdi has tripped over a leg of a rolling chair and is hopping on one foot, cradling his stubbed toe while Chris captures it all on video. Joel sees them and bursts out laughing, and Erick lets out a chuckle too, barely squeezing it out of his constricted throat. Being this close to Joel makes it hard for him to breathe.

Joel spins Erick around just before the last chorus of the song, and Erick suddenly finds himself grinding back against his friend, his body moving independently of his mind. Joel still has a tight grip on Erick’s hips, and the front of his pelvis matches the rhythm Erick sets. The song is building to its most climactic point, and Joel squeezes his eyes shut, singing the words at the top of his lungs into Erick’s ear. Although deafening, Erick still feels like he’s being sung to by an angel. Joel’s voice has always done things to him.

The end of the song soon fades out, and Joel rests his head on Erick’s shoulder. They sway together in the silence before the next song. A bead of sweat drips down the back of Erick’s neck and Joel eyes it, licking his lips—no. No, that wouldn’t be right. Still, he can’t deny it. He needs to be closer and closer to Erick...but how?

Somewhere in his alcohol-fogged brain, he comes up with an idea. “Hey Erick,” he whispers, tickling the inside of Erick’s ear. 

“Hm?” Erick responds.

“I have something I need to tell you. Come here.” With that, Joel pulls Erick clumsily into the bathroom and shuts the door. 

“In the bathroom?” Erick questions nervously.  _ What could he possibly have to tell me in the bathroom? _ He doesn’t know what’s going to happen, but his mind races with dozens of possibilities.

“Not, uh...not specifically in the bathroom. Just...alone.”

“Alone,” Erick repeats, swallowing and attempting to rehydrate his mouth. 

Joel leans back against the counter. “Listen, I’ve been thinking...me and you, we’re close, right? We’re good friends?” Erick nods eagerly. “Did you ever think we could be more than friends, maybe?”

Erick swallows again, but his mouth is still dry. “What are you talking about?” he asks. His heart is racing. Does Joel mean what he wants him to mean? 

“I mean...look.” Joel pulls on Erick’s sleeve and Erick stumbles toward him. Their faces are centimeters apart, and Joel’s breath is hot on Erick’s cheek. “You are...very attractive. Like, extremely attractive. Did you know that? You’re hot. And I’ve been thinking a lot about how hot you are and how  _ I’m  _ into you.” He pauses. “You know what I’m saying?” 

“Um, you might need to be a little more specific.”

Joel pushes a strand of hair back from Erick’s face. “What I’m saying is, I want you. I want you really bad. You see what you do to me?” He pushes his hips up against Erick’s thigh and Erick gasps, feeling his hardness. There was no denying what it was. “When you’re dancing on me like that, mm. I can’t help but wonder what else you can do.”

Erick can feel his body growing hotter at Joel’s suggestion, and blood rushes toward a certain part of his body in a way he can’t ignore. Still, he maintains his composure. “Joel, you’re drunk. You’re acting crazy.”

“The only crazy I am is crazy for you,” he replies smoothly. How is Joel so smooth even when he’s drunk? That shouldn’t be possible.

Just then, Joel catches his eyes. Their deep brown has almost been overtaken by the black desire of his pupils. Seeing Joel look at him, with that hunger emanating from his gaze, Erick finds himself completely powerless.

He could never say no to Joel. Not even if he tried.

“Okay...so,” Erick murmurs, “what exactly did you have in mind?” After wiping his damp palms on his shirt, he boldly moves them to trace the waistband of Joel’s pants. At this action, Joel’s hips push up in an attempt to get Erick’s hands where he really wants them.

Joel hesitates before answering, and for Erick the tension is nearly unbearable. Finally, he says, “Suck me off.” When Erick doesn’t immediately move, he rephrases himself, “You know, a blowjob. I want your mouth around my cock.”

“Fuck…,” is all Erick can muster. He can’t seem to get it through his head that this is actually happening, after he’s spent so many nights fantasizing about it. It seems like a dream.

But when Joel’s hands press down on his shoulders and his knees contact the cold tile floor, he is jolted back to reality. His fantasy is about to come true.

Although this isn’t something Erick has ever done before, he lets his instinct take over. He trails his lips up from Joel’s jean-clad upper thigh across his hardness, relishing the way Joel lets out a shaky breath at the contact. The bulge in his pants is sizeable, and Erick quickly resolves to relieve it, deftly unbuttoning and unzipping the tight jeans like he’d been practicing to do it all his life. 

Joel assists him in pushing his pants down, just far enough to give Erick access. What Erick is faced with astounds him. The outline of Joel’s cock is clearly visible through his gray boxer briefs and Erick swears he’s never seen anything more beautiful in his life. But, tucking his fingers underneath the elastic of Joel’s underwear, he knows he’s about to see something even more beautiful.

Joel shifts against the counter as Erick pulls down his underwear, trying to get into a position where the edge isn’t digging into his flesh. He stills when Erick licks his lips, unable to take his eyes off the younger boy’s tongue. He bites back a whimper and begs, “Please, Erick. Touch me.”

Erick marvels at the way Joel’s cock bounces against his abdomen. It’s, somehow, even more amazing than he’d imagined, seeming to be perfectly sculpted to match the rest of his body. He feels wrong touching it—not only because he’s worried Joel is making a decision he’ll regret, but also because wrapping a hand around Joel’s hardness is akin to running your fingers across a piece of art in a museum. It’s so easy to reach out and do it, but it feels forbidden.

“Before I do anything,” Erick says, “promise me you won’t regret this in the morning. I don’t want to push you into doing something you don’t really want, so can you promise me your brain still has some control over your dick right now?”

Joel chuckles. “I promise. I pinky promise I won’t regret doing this.” He extends his little finger down to Erick, who accepts it, amused.

Finally, after a long moment of taking everything in, he takes Joel into his hand and begins to rub him up and down. “Oh, God,” Joel breathes. “That feels incredible. I swear I’ve never been this turned on in my life.”

Erick’s ego swells a little bit knowing that he’s the one who caused this, but that doesn’t stop him from worrying. “Keep it down,” he warns Joel. “Do you want everyone to hear us?”

Joel takes note of the music still playing outside. “They won’t hear a thing out there. They probably haven’t even noticed we’re gone.”

Erick has his doubts, but he can’t exactly stop what he’s doing now. Or, he could, but he definitely won’t.

Another minute of stroking Joel—the skin is remarkably soft to encase the hardness within—and a bead of moisture appears on his tip. Heat rushes once again through Erick’s body and he thinks,  _ This is it _ , before leaning forward and capturing the droplet with his tongue.

Joel, who had shut his eyes in order to better focus on the sensations taking over his body, moans softly, startled to finally feel Erick’s mouth on him. Erick swirls his tongue around the head, then traces it gingerly up and down the whole length. It feels wonderful, but Joel is too desperate for slow, drawn-out teasing, and decides to take matters into his own hands.

Keeping one hand on the counter beside him for stability, he threads the other through Erick’s silky hair and uses it to guide Erick’s mouth further around him. As Joel’s cock fills up his mouth, he hums contentedly, and Joel’s hips unexpectedly buck up, shocked by the vibration. Erick nearly gags, but manages to keep Joel still for a moment, holding him around his thighs while he recollects himself.

“Sorry about that,” Joel says raggedly.

As Erick pulls his head back, he replies, “You have absolutely nothing to apologize for.” Then, he dives back in, setting up a relentless rhythm while stroking the bare parts of Joel’s thighs, eager to map all the skin he can.

While continuing to suck Joel off, Erick’s mind wanders. He thinks back to all the moments he and Joel had shared together, and he wonders how he could’ve been wrong. He was so certain Joel only liked him as a friend, even though Erick wanted much more.

How could he have missed the signs that Joel wanted more too? Erick prided himself on how well he knew Joel, but maybe he’d been misinterpreting his actions all along. How could he have been so wrong that they ended up in this position before he could even process it?

After a few more minutes, Erick feels more pressure on his throat as Joel begins to meet him thrust for thrust. The frequency of Joel’s moans tells Erick he’s getting close. Looking up, he sees that Joel is now watching him intently.

Seeing Erick’s eyes meet his is almost too much for Joel, and he feels himself nearing the edge. The alluring green eyes have even now retained their mischievous glint, as if Erick knows he’s doing something naughty and is enjoying it immensely. Then, as if just to drive Joel even crazier, he increases the suction, hollowing out his cheeks to perfectly showcase his cheekbones. 

“Oh, fuck,” Joel groans. “Keep going, I’m so close.” His muscles are tightening low down in his core. 

Erick adds his hand back into the equation, stroking vigorously in tandem with his bobbing head until finally he feels Joel’s body tense. “Oh god, I’m coming, oh my god, yes, Erick!” he cries out, tightening his grip on Erick’s hair as he empties himself into his mouth. Joel’s body is completely overtaken with ecstasy, waves of pleasure rippling through his body as Erick’s name escapes his lips again and again in shaky cries. 

Erick doesn’t know what else to do but swallow, so that’s what he does, savoring every last drop of Joel’s sweetness. With a little more suction to make sure he gets all the way to completion, Joel’s entire body shakes from the aftershock. Erick pulls back, using the back of his hand to wipe around the edge of his satisfied smile. 

Joel lets out a breathless laugh, helping pull Erick back up to stand in front of him. Erick rests his head on Joel’s shoulder and a hand on his chest, which is still heaving. “Your shirt is damp,” he remarks, the teasing smirk evident in his voice.

“Oh, shut up,” Joel says, laughing more now. “That was amazing.” He pauses. “You were amazing.”

Joel pulls up his pants and underwear, and they stand together against the counter in a relaxed silence for a few moments, enjoying each other’s closeness. Although Erick’s hardness is still pressing against the confines of his own pants, he does his best to ignore it. Despite the ache he knows will follow, tonight Joel’s pleasure is more than enough for him. 

Then, something dawns on Erick. “Shit,” he breathes.

“What is it?” Joel asks.

“The music, the, the—the others, what happened to them?”

Listening closely, Joel confirms that all the noise of the hotel room party is gone.  _ When did that happen?  _ he wonders. He had clearly been too caught up in other things to notice.

“Oh my god,” says Erick, dreading the worst. “What if they heard us in here or knew what we were doing and—”

“And what? Seriously, what would they do?” Joel leans back to look Erick in the eyes. “Hey, it’s gonna be fine. I’m sure they just got bored and went exploring. Or maybe they went to hang out in Zabdi’s room or something. Don’t worry about it.”

The soothing tone of Joel’s voice sets Erick’s mind at ease, at least for the moment. Joel creeps quietly toward the bathroom door and cracks it open, just enough to peer out into the room. Sure enough, it’s empty. He motions for Erick to follow him back out, and they sit down together on Erick’s bed. 

“What should we do? Should we go find them?” Erick wonders aloud.

“We could, but…” Joel stretches and lets out an enormous yawn. “I’m kind of tired.” He flops back onto the bed and shimmies under the covers. “Ooh, or hungry,” he adds. “Are you hungry?” 

“We have some chips in here somewhere.” Erick gets up and scans the room before finding the open bag. He grabs it, but by the time he returns to the bed, Joel has already dozed off, a serene expression washing over his face. Erick can’t help but smile to himself. Joel is adorable when he sleeps. He takes a handful of chips for himself and crawls into bed beside Joel, clicking off the lamp beside him.

In the darkness, Joel’s deep breathing is as soothing as a lullaby, but some thoughts still plague Erick deep in his mind. For one, the band is a group of best friends, of brothers, and any secret between them never lasts very long. If Richard, Christopher, and Zabdiel haven’t already figured out what he and Joel just did in the bathroom, they’ll definitely know by the end of tomorrow. And with that discussion will undoubtedly come the discussion of Erick’s long term feelings for Joel, which he isn’t sure he’s ready to talk about. What would they think of him if they knew?

And secondly, Erick is no idiot, and he knows that Joel is inexperienced when it comes to relationships of any kind. He’s never even been kissed, and certainly never had a blowjob. Although he promised he wouldn’t regret this, what if he wakes up in the morning and discovers he’s made a huge mistake? What if he hates him because of it? Erick is certain that was one of the greatest experiences of his life, and although Joel had seemed to enjoy it, it was entirely possible he didn’t feel the same. After all, it seems he’s been a lot more wrong about Joel than he thought, recently. He doesn’t know if he can face that humiliation.

Eventually, exhaustion wins the battle for Erick’s mind, and he drifts off to sleep, making sure to keep his distance from Joel in case one of the guys were to walk in on them in the morning. 

* * *

Cold sunlight streams in through the window and Joel rubs his eyes. “Shit, what time is it?” he mutters, picking up his phone from the nightstand. Only 8:43, which means he’d gotten less than five hours of sleep. Great. He moves to sit up, but—oh. _Oh._

A pair of arms is wrapped around his torso, holding him in place. And behind him, attached to the arms, is none other than Erick, cuddled up nice and close to him and still sound asleep. He looks peaceful, and Joel wants to let him sleep, but he knows they have to start getting ready for the day soon, so he gently shakes the younger boy awake. “Erick. Erick, good morning, sleepyhead,” he says softly.

Erick blinks awake, then jolts, pulling his arms back from around Joel. How had he gotten so close to him in his sleep? “Sorry about that,” he says groggily.

“Oh, it was kind of nice,” says Joel, causing Erick to blush profusely. 

Erick inches his way into an upright position and scours Joel’s face for any sign of how he’s feeling, but he really can’t tell. “How much do you remember about last night?” he asks cautiously. 

Joel rubs his head, which has started up a gentle pulsing that always happens the morning after he drinks. He’s lucky not to be afflicted with any of the other typical hangover symptoms; he’s always gotten off easy in that regard. “Last night...we were all in here, listening to music and dancing, right?” He looks to Erick for approval and Erick nods, urging him to continue. “Okay, and then...I was dancing with you. And then we went into the bathroom and— _ oh. _ Shit.”

“Yeah.” Joel doesn’t say anymore, so Erick prompts, “How are you now? I mean, what are you thinking?” 

“Did that...did that really happen? It wasn’t just some weird dream or something?”

Erick cringes at the word  _ weird _ , but replies, “Yep, it was real.”

“You really gave me a blowjob,” Joel reiterates. 

“Yeah, I did.” 

“Shit.” 

Erick is beginning to panic at the distressed tone of Joel’s voice. This wasn’t exactly the best-case scenario he’d hoped would play out in the morning; in fact, it was leaning more toward the worst.

Joel groans. “Oh my god, this isn’t what I wanted to happen. How did I let that happen? I can’t believe myself,” he laments. 

“What do you mean?” Erick asks, voice cracking a bit on the last syllable.

“I mean, I should never have let you do that to me. It isn’t right.”

Erick’s head is spinning. “Joel, you promised me you wouldn’t regret it in the morning. I never would’ve done it if I’d thought you didn’t want it. But you made it clear that you  _ did  _ want it, that you wouldn’t throw it in my face later. You  _ promised _ . Does that mean nothing?” He hates the desperation that has found its way into his voice, but he doesn’t know how to hold it back. 

“Oh my god,” Joel says, seeming to have adopted the phrase as his mantra. “I don’t even know what to do right now. I have to go.” Before Erick can react, Joel is already on his way out the door, leaving him in a stunned silence.

After a minute, Erick finds enough reason left in his brain to make himself get up and get dressed. The band is scheduled to depart at 9:15, and he would not be the reason they were all late to their interview. He washes his face and lingers in front of the mirror, observing his image to see if he looks any different. No, he determines, he’s the same. But he still can’t wrap his head around the fact that just hours ago, he’d had Joel pressed up against this granite countertop, moaning his name, and now Joel won’t even talk to him. 

On the bus, Joel sits as far away from Erick as possible. It hurts him to see the anguish and confusion in Erick’s expressive eyes, but he can’t bear to have to talk to him after what happened. What they did. The other three boys exchange meaningful looks, but neither of them say anything to Erick or Joel. The ride to the TV studio is much quieter than usual. 

At the interview, they have arranged for Joel and Erick to sit next to each other, but there is none of the playful banter between them that there usually is. At one point Zabdiel reaches over and ruffles Joel’s hair, but he hardly reacts. They go through the motions of answering questions and singing a few bars of their latest single, but everyone can tell that the two of them aren’t themselves. 

The moment they step back into the bus, Richard grabs both Erick and Joel by the sleeve. “Guys. Whatever is going on between you two, you need to figure it out, and fast. It’s not professional to let your personal problems affect what happens in public, and even more than that, it’s not like you. Y’all are good friends.” He looks at the two of them. “Figure it out.” Richard moves past them to join Christopher and Zabdiel at the back of the bus. 

Erick plops down on one of the front seats and sighs. Richard is right. “What are we doing?” he asks Joel.

“I don’t know,” Joel answers, sitting down across from him. 

Speaking low enough to make sure the others can’t hear, he asks, “What did you really think about last night? Was it just a drunken mistake? If so, I’m willing to forget it ever happened. I won’t let it get in the way of our friendship.”

“No, no, it wasn’t that.”

“It wasn’t? So then how do you explain your reaction when we woke up?”

“It’s...complicated.” Joel runs a hand through his own hair, trying to sort out his thoughts.

“Well, it’s still going to be complicated whether you tell me about it or not, so I think telling me is the way to go.”

Joel hesitates. “Okay. You know how I’ve never been kissed?” Erick nods. “I...I had this whole plan in my head as to how I wanted everything to go, I guess. Like, I wanted to meet someone and romance them and treat them nice until one day, at the perfect moment, I’d kiss them. Then, the more we got to know each other, the more intimate we’d start to be. It was supposed to be this whole progression of, you know, a real romantic relationship. I wanted it to be special.”

Erick raises his eyebrows. “Oh, okay, so what we shared wasn’t special then?” He feels his chest tightening.

“No, that’s not what I meant! It was special. It was just...not how I’d expected it to go. We moved in so fast, we skipped so many steps…”

“But...you  _ did  _ enjoy it?”

Joel laughs in disbelief. “You even have to ask that? I thought it was pretty clear that I had the time of my life.”

Erick breathes a sigh of relief. “Okay, good. I don’t know, I thought you liked it, but then I was having all these doubts, and—”

“Erick, I liked it. A lot.” Erick meets his dark eyes and they smile simultaneously. The air around them suddenly feels less suffocating, and Joel certainly feels a huge weight off his back after having explained himself.

“So what now?” Erick asks, moving over to sit beside Joel. “Are we cool?”

“I mean, yeah. What happened happened. There’s nothing we can do to change it now.” 

Slinging an arm around Joel’s shoulders, Erick considers Joel’s words. “Nothing we can do to change it, sure, but maybe there’s still a way I can help.”

“Oh?” Joel sounds hopeful but unconvinced. 

“Maybe…” Erick turns Joel’s head toward him with his free hand. “Maybe I can help you get your plan back on track.”

The breath against Joel’s cheek is warm and minty, and he feels butterflies flutter in his stomach.  _ This is it,  _ he thinks. He closes his eyes and leans forward, and—

“Wait.” Erick smushes a finger against Joel’s lips. Joel’s eyes pop open to meet Erick’s sparkly green ones. “Are you sure this is the ‘perfect moment’? Are you absolutely sure?”

Joel feels himself melt inside. “I’m sure.” 

With that, Erick places a hand tenderly on either side of Joel’s face, and the two of them lean into each other until  _ at last  _ their lips join in the softest, sweetest first kiss that Joel could ever have hoped for. 

When they break apart a few seconds later, cheers and shouts of jubilation erupt from the back of the bus. Erick turns to see what all the commotion is about. 

“Heyyy,” Chris says, coming over to slap him on the back. “Look at you go!”

“Finally!” Zabdiel exclaims. “It’s about time the two of you got together. We’ve been waiting for, like, months.”

“How long have you guys been watching?” Joel asks sheepishly. Erick is pleased to find that his hand has slipped into his own, his thumb stroking Erick’s skin.

“Long enough to figure out what you two lovebirds were up to last night,” Richard laughs. 

“Yeah, thank God you weren’t in anybody else’s room, that’s all I’m saying,” jokes Christopher, poking Erick in the ribs. 

“Okay, okay, enough already,” Erick says, giving Chris a good-natured shove.

The bus has arrived back at the hotel, so everyone goes to get off, but Joel holds Erick back for a moment. “I just wanted to say thank you,” he says. “For everything. You know. Not just for last night or the kiss but just...for understanding.”

The corners of Erick’s lips turn upward. “You’ve always understood me better than anyone else, so it’s the least I can do to try and understand you.” 

Joel draws him in for another long kiss, which eventually turns into a warm, affectionate hug. Although nothing about this was what he’d imagined, in this moment he knows that this beginning is exactly where he’s meant to end up, and Erick feels exactly the same. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it all the way to the end, thank you so much! I'm flattered. This is my first fic for this fandom, and I'm a very new fan so please let me know if you have suggestions for better characterization or anything, or just want to tell me your thoughts <3


End file.
